After School Satan Clubs? Stick a pitchfork in it

After School Satan Clubs invade elementary schools

Once again, the radical left targets little kids to push their godless agenda, this time bringing in the big man himself: Satan

Think about it: After School Satan Clubs in elementary schools.

Do we really have to spend time criticizing this absurd and poisonous idea? What’s next? After School Bestiality Clubs? Ted Bundy Fan clubs? Drag Queen clubs? Why not? If Satan clubs are permitted, why not allow other clubs that embody Satan?

No. A Satan club is a bad idea. Let’s move on.

But unfortunately, we can’t.

We now live in the 21st century, where logic and common sense no longer intersect. So, we have to debate whether After School Satan Clubs are appropriate for 5–12-year-olds in elementary schools.

That question should be a no-brainer. But instead, it has to be carefully studied, dissected, hashed out, mulled, scrutinized, and deliberated.

Hey! Wake up! This is Satan we’re talking about…for 5-12-year-olds. Enough said.

For those unacquainted with this literally hellish news topic, The Satanic Temple, headquartered in Salem, Massachusetts (of course) has launched a nationwide campaign to enroll Lucifer into After School programs targeting elementary students.

There’s nothing linear about this story. You can’t go from point A to point B and hope to understand it.

Instead, it’s a grimy, murky story laced with lies, deceptions, slight-of-hands, half-truths, doublespeak, legal threats, and brilliantly conceived underhanded schemes.

Using devious and strong-arm tactics, The Satanic Temple has achieved remarkable success at getting After School Satan Clubs into a handful of public elementary schools, with schools in Utah, California, Ohio, Washington, Illinois, and Oregon among them.

After School Satan Clubs
The Satanic Temple membership certificate for elementary kids

The Devil in Sheep’s Clothing

When so-called ‘ministers of Satan’ approach an elementary school district, they frame The Satanic Temple as a caring, loving, non-judgmental, critical thinking, scientific, non-proselytizing social club.

The Satanic Temple, led by co-founder Lucien Greaves, tells school officials that members don’t believe in a literal Satan or any supernatural being.

Instead, they are friendly, non-theological free-thinkers who only want to help little munchkins become critical thinkers. The kids will be given healthy snacks, literature and science lessons, puzzles, and art projects.

Oh, and if the school district refuses to open its doors, it can expect a lawsuit.

In 2001, the Supreme Court ruled that the Good News Club in Albany, New York had a legal right to meet after school hours in elementary schools.

Lucien Greaves, who regularly writes “Letters to Satan,” argues that what’s legal for Christian evangelical groups must also be permitted for Satan Clubs.

“We are only doing this because Good News Clubs have created a need for this. If Good News Clubs would operate in churches rather than public schools, that need would disappear,” Greaves told the Washington Post.

Here’s where it’s an excellent time to examine the doublespeak, hypocrisy, and lies of The Satanic Temple.

If The Satanic Temple doesn’t believe in Satan, how is it then a religious organization?

Also, very tellingly, Greaves admits that the real goal of the Satanic Club is not to help elementary kids with critical thinking skills but to combat the teachings of the Good News Club with Satan.

In a recent child recruitment video, The Satanic Temple tells kids: “Satan is not an evil guy. He wants you to learn and question why. By the way, there is no Hell. Satan looks for truth.”

Despite this video’s admission that it has an agenda to convert children to Satanism, The Satanic Temple states on its website, “Proselytization is not our goal, and we’re not interested in converting children to Satanism.”

But a Washington Post investigation into the group tells a different story. “They appear determined to give young students a choice: Jesus or Satan,” says the author, Katherine Stewart.

Doublespeak from a satanist group? Anyone surprised?

The New York chapter of The Satanic Temple also contradicts its co-founder’s claim that Satan is not real, saying, “The curriculum has been developed by Ministers of Satan.”

Coloring Book from Hell

A child’s coloring book, authored by The Satanic Temple, is titled: The Satanic Children’s BIG BOOK of Activities. In one drawing, children are directed to “Color Ananabel’s study filled with Satanic literature and philosophy.”

The book even boasts that its goal is to twist the minds of Christian children into Satanism:

“This is a VERY SERIOUS ACTIVITY BOOK that is specially [sic] perfect for children of conservative, religious households.”

A child’s coloring book, authored by The Satanic Temple, is titled: The Satanic Children’s BIG BOOK of Activities. In one drawing, children are directed to “Color Ananabel’s study filled with Satanic literature and philosophy.”

Children are also expected to color a picture of an inverted pentagram, which is the official symbol for the Church of Satan.

Every child attending the After School Satan Club will receive an official Satanic Temple membership card, a confession of being a Satanist.

There are a whopping 46 different Satanic Temple chapters inside and outside the United States, many of them with Facebook pages that update their members on dark-world activities and campaigns they can enjoy.

Here are just a few Satan campaigns proudly displayed for their fans.

Menstruatin’ with Satan.

Vote like a Satanist.

Satanic Pride.

Blood 4 Satan.

Therapy With Satan.

Celebration of Lupercalia (an ancient Roman pagan celebration that involves sacrificing goats and a dog).

In addition, all Satanic Temple chapters have “Unbaptism” services, where people can renounce their Christianity. Apostates are asked such questions as, “Do you wish to renounce your faith of the past?” and “Do you reject God?” After the unbaptism service, everyone shouts “Hail Satan” three times.

The New York City chapter warns anyone attending an unbaptism:


Please. Pick me off the floor and fan my quaking face. Should children be introduced to an organization that holds events where they might need smelling salts to recover?

The Satanic Temple will release its 2023 Satanic Temple Calendar this coming year. It boasts of having nudity and Satanic holidays.

Even more disturbing will be a photograph of a girl with her tongue sticking out, laced with a man’s semen spelling the words: “Jesus Cum Unto Me.”

Elsewhere, The Satanic Temple offers videos and photographs of members burning the Bible, placing inverted crosses on boxes of Tampons, and drinking blood poured from a cup (which one assumes and hopes is fake).

The Gates of Hell Should Not Prevail

Every school district should obviously reject After School Satan Clubs for elementary kids.

But can they? Or are schools obligated by law to allow After School Satan Clubs if those same schools allow Christian clubs to meet after school hours?

The Satanic Temple, somehow, has managed to convince the IRS they are a church and were granted tax-exempt status as a church on February 6, 2019.

This is the same IRS that tried to deny an evangelical organization, Christians Engaged, a tax-exempt status just two years later, claiming the group’s theology was too Republican.

The IRS rejection letter stated, “The Bible teachings are typically affiliated with the Republican Party and candidates. This disqualifies you from exemption under IRC Section 5019(c)(3).”

The IRS later relented and granted Christians Engaged their tax exemption. But it took legal action and the threat of a possible congressional investigation to reverse the denial.

As a reminder, during this time, the IRS was still recovering from a 2016 scandal where it denied some 400 organizations a tax exemption over their conservative views on politics.

So, having the IRS define whether The Satanic Temple is or is not a church can be entirely seen as nothing more than a political stunt by the IRS.

And here’s proof.

The IRS defines a church using the guidelines below. For convenience and brevity, I put in parenthesis whether The Satanic Temple meets any of these requirements.

* Distinct legal existence (Yes)

* Recognized creed and form of worship (No)

* Definite and distinct ecclesiastical government (No)

* Formal code of doctrine and discipline (No)

* Distinct religious history (No)

* Organization of ordained ministers (No)

* Ordained ministers selected after completing prescribed courses of study (No)

* Literature of its own (Yes)

* Established places of worship (No)

* Regular congregations (No)

* Regular religious services (No)

* Sunday schools for the religious instruction of the young (No)

* Schools for the preparation of its members (No)

Besides having a legal existence and a one-page statement reflecting individual self-autonomy, The Satanic Church meets no other IRS definition of a church.

And how could they? The Satanic Temple doesn’t have a namesake temple, a house of worship, or even a small garage for members to meet anywhere!

The Satanic Temple even warns its followers, “Just to clarify something, NONE of us have a physical temple! Please do not drive to the ‘listed’ location on the website!“

Given that The Satanic Temple publicly denies any belief in a God, Satan, or the supernatural, preaches no sermons, holds no theological views, has no book of discipline, has no ordained ministers and has no places of worship, state governments should refuse to recognize them as a religious organization and have the courage to fight it out in a court of law, if necessary.

If the IRS wants to recognize The Satanic Temple as a church, fine. They can unbaptize people inside a federal park but keep them out of public elementary schools.

Hail Logic! Hail Reason! Hail Common Sense!


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